Can You Be Gay and Christian?

I came across this question online and wanted to try and answer. But before I do, I think it will be helpful to define terms.

What is 'gay'?

Gay primarily refers to a person who is romantically or sexually attracted to others of the same sex. If we break it down further though, gay can include thoughts, feelings, behavior, and identity – all of which can vary in degrees. (Though, I'm generally not a fan of labels – I've written more about that in this article, Don't call me gay).

What does it mean to be a Christian?

A Christian is a person who believes in and follows the teachings of Jesus Christ, typically as part of the religion of Christianity, which emphasizes faith in Jesus as the Son of God.

So, can you be both gay and Christian?

I think the question comes up in the first place because there are several competing viewpoints. And the answer to this question will depend on your own experiences. As far as I can tell, there are at least two schools of thought:

Affirming viewpoints in Christianity, held by progressive denominations, assert that being gay is fully compatible with faith. They tend to interpret biblical passages as context-specific and emphasize God's inclusivity in creation.

In contrast, traditional or more conservative perspectives consider homosexual acts as sinful based on scriptural interpretations. They view same-sex attraction as a challenge to overcome through celibacy or repentance, with identity rooted solely in Christ.

My viewpoint is more consistent with the latter – a more conservative approach – but one also rooted in science. I don't typically write about or share my own religious or spiritual views. But in the spirit of Christmas, perhaps I'll share a little.

I haven't always been the most consistent at following Jesus. I think at this point in my life, my faith in Him is not as strong as I'd like. But I've had spiritual experiences in my life that I can't deny. There are things I believe. And there are things that I want to believe. Here are a few:

My view is that anyone can be a Christian. Including, and perhaps especially, people who might struggle with same-sex attraction or any other temptation (Matthew 11:19). After all, God is 'no a respecter of persons' – meaning the Gospel of Jesus Christ is available to everybody (Acts 10:34). He doesn't care what we look like on the outside, He 'looketh on the heart' (1 Samuel 16:7).

I've heard it said that 'you can't truly be Christian until you stop being gay'. But that's not my view. But, perhaps we become Christian so we can stop being gay.

I believe God loves us and wants us to return to live with Him (John 3:16). But in order to do that, we need to follow his commandments (John 14:15). And to a certain extent, we all struggle to do so; what I might struggle with might be different than you. But He can provide a way for us to overcome our temptations (1 Corinthians 10:13). Including those of us struggling with same-sex attraction (Romans 1:26–27), because His 'grace is sufficient' (2 Corinthians 12:9).

It is difficult for everyone to deny themselves and follow Him (Luke 9:23). So as we take up our own respective crosses, it's best to be kind and not to judge one another along the way (Matthew 7:3-5). Jesus Christ can change us in ways most of us wouldn't think possible. He taught us a higher way (Isaiah 55: 8-9). And if we let Him, He can change our hearts (Ezekiel 11:19).

At least, this is what I want to believe. To a certain extent, what I'm writing now feels aspirational – like I'm not quite there yet, but want to be. I want Jesus to give me a new heart. And maybe He is doing so, little by little. I am trying to use all the tools available to me to bring about that change, both from the lens of faith and science. There are times when practical skills that have helped more than prayer. But there are also times when prayer has carried me when I didn't see a way out.

In some ways, I'm grateful for the struggle. I've learned so much about myself over the years and continue to do so. I think I'm a more compassionate and understanding person for it. And perhaps that's evidence that God's love for me.

And so the original question – can you be gay and Christian? – might be asked in a different way: can you experience same-sex attraction and also believe in Jesus Christ? Can you fall short at times when trying to follow Him?

Of course.

He will give us as many chances as we need (Matthew 18:22); what's more important is that we don't give up on Him.

Others may answer differently. But regardless of your views on being gay and Christian – the choice is yours: you get to choose what you do with your feelings and beliefs.

As for me, I am trying to follow Him in my own imperfect way. Reconciling my feelings and beliefs has left me with many sleepless nights. It's made me question my faith and challenged me to sink or swim. But I think He's guided me along the way – perhaps more than I realize. And that's such a precious gift. It's one available to everyone.

Merry Christmas!