Expressive Writing

I've kept a journal every day for the past 15 years or so. It's become a habit more than anything – like brushing my teeth before bed. I take a few minutes to write down my thoughts.

When I first started, I would record what happened during the day. Sometimes it was just a few sentences. I would write about what I did, and what I wanted to get done the next day.

But over time, my writing began to change. Instead of an account of my productivity, I started writing about my goals, my aspirations, and my feelings. What was going well. What I was scared of. What I wanted most. My journaling morphed into a tool to manage my emotional health. And while I didn't know it at first, the research supports the idea that expressive writing can be therapeutic.

What is Expressive Writing?

Expressive writing is a simple technique where you write freely about your deepest thoughts and feelings – often related to a stressful or traumatic experience. You don't worry about grammar or spelling. Just let the words flow, like a stream of unconscious thought. Typically this involves writing for about 15-20 minutes a day for three to four consecutive days.

The technique was originally developed by James Pennebaker in the 1980s. His original study showed that college students who wrote expressively about traumas reported fewer visits to the health center and showed improved immune function.¹

However, follow-up studies have also linked expressive writing to reduced stress, better mood, and even enhanced immunity and performance.² His work demonstrates that writing about our challenging experiences can help us heal from them.

Why is that?

In my experience, writing forces me to organize chaotic thoughts and emotions into coherent narratives. In doing so, I not only release pent-up stress, but also foster insight. I think of my mind as a room – and writing is a way to clean and organize it.

Writing requires a wrestle with language, which encourages me to slow down and name my feelings. And in a strange way, that brings a sense of peace. Because I've put it down on paper, my mind can relax. And I find that I don't ruminate as much, which gives me additional bandwidth to manage my emotions.

It's like having a free therapist.

Can Expressive Writing Help Me?

In my own healing journey, it took me a while to be comfortable writing my feelings. Most of the time, I didn't even know what I was feeling, let alone why I was feeling it.

When I first started writing, I don't think I was very honest with myself. I'd try to word things in a way that painted me in the best possible light. But those days are long gone. I've since learned that honest journaling is healing in it's own way.

As I've grappled with my own feelings, feelings that conflict with my values, I've found writing can help foster clarity. It's a self-directed way to explore unresolved traumas or emotional wounds from childhood — such as abuse, family dynamics, or identity struggles — which have impacted my sexuality. But writing about it has helped unpack some of that baggage.

I'm not saying that writing fixes everything. I'm merely suggesting that expressive writing can help promote emotional regulation. And emotional regulation is a key part of managing attractions (and compulsions) that feel incompatible with values.

I could talk a lot about why I journal, how it's helpful etc. But I just want to highlight that expressive writing is one tool I've used in my own healing journey.

There's something powerful when we put pen to paper. It's not just cathartic, but we start to change the stories we tell ourselves. And those stories influence who we become.

If you're struggling in any way, I'd invite you to consider expressive writing. Grab a notebook and set aside 15-20 minutes for a few days. Focus on that's bothering you. Write freely and try to go deep. There's no judgement. You don't have to share with anyone. In fact, you can even destroy the pages after you've got everything out. If you need an example, I recently wrote this: a letter to my father that he will never read.

We want to uncover and process tough emotions, because burying them sometimes only makes the feelings come back stronger. If you do give it a try, let me know how it goes. I hope you'll find it brings a little more peace to your mind.

1) Pennebaker, J. W., & Beall, S. K. (1986). Confronting a traumatic event: Toward an understanding of inhibition and disease. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 95(3), 274–281. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843x.95.3.274

2) Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process. Psychological Science, 8(3), 162–166. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.1997.tb00403.x