Assertiveness (Rathus)

The Rathus — thirty statements, written by Spencer Rathus in 1973 and still one of the standard measures of assertiveness. Used in research and clinics worldwide. Screening, not diagnosis.

For each one, say how much it sounds like you. Six options, from 'very characteristic' to 'very uncharacteristic.' There's no score until you've done all thirty.

My Score

I scored -36. Well below the middle.

Lower than I'd have guessed. I don't think of myself as a pushover. But the items that landed hardest were the ones about adjusting myself to other people's reactions. That's always been me. Quiet, reserved, quick to read a room and quick to adjust to it. I don't like conflict. When I was younger I was eager to please, even at the expense of my own feelings.

What's changed is that I've started noticing the cost. And I've tried to speak up. When I do, I feel more settled. The reverse is true too. When I feel dismissed or walked over, the unwanted same-sex attraction comes back louder.

Sample size of one, so take that for what it's worth.

Interestingly, Rathus found that the people who scored high on this were rated as less nice by the people who knew them. So there's a cost at the other end too. I don't want to be less nice, but I do want to be more assertive.

Where to Go from Here

• On Being Assertive
• I Spoke Up
• Female Friends
• A Letter to My Mother That She Will Never Read

Rathus, S. A. (1973). A 30-item schedule for assessing assertive behavior. Behavior Therapy, 4(3), 398–406.